This Year…

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

This year, is gonna be incredible

This year, is gonna be the one

All the planets are lining up for me

This year, I’m gonna have fun

 

This year, I’ll paint my masterpiece

This year, I’ll be recognized

I can feel like I’ll fall in love for real

This year, this year

 

January, I’ll learn to fly

February, love’s gonna find me

March, April, May, I’ll get carried away

 

This year, I’ll reach the pinnacle

This year, I’ll get to the top

People will ask where he get that energy

This year, I’m never gonna stop

 

I’m gonna have fun

Just watch me now

This year

This year

This year

…

If Only This Actually Happened...

 

I had a dream last night. It was a rather weird one, because it really seemed something out of a Hollywood movie. I swear I'm not making any of this up, but here's how it went...

 

I found myself in a train station...and of all places somewhere in Canada. I knew it was Canada because there was a flag somewhere in the background. Anyway, I was at a cafe nearby, presumably to catch the next train to some place. While sipping on my cuppa, I was approached by this attractive young lady (think Kristin Kruek) who asked if she could join me because she didn't want to sit alone. She had the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen, cute pouty lips and long black silky hair...of course without hesitation I offered her the seat opposite me. She then introduced herself to me simply as Patricia. She didn't give a last name, but she looked to be of mixed parentage, Canadian Chinese I presume.

 

Anyway, we then chatted away and she told me she works as an air stewardess and was there to catch a train to the airport. I can't really remember in detail the conversations that we had, but I do remember giving her my business card and asked her to keep in touch somehow. Then the announcement of her train's departure suddenly was broadcast through the station's PA system. She told me she had to leave and wrote her number on the back of my business card and returned it back to me. Later, we both stood up, and I gave her a hug and said our goodbyes. I think I had a tear in my eye at that point...and I watched her board her train.

 

Soon after, I got up only to realize that it was just a dream...DARN IT! Imagine what it could be if something like that did happen in real life. Anyway, the sad part is...I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NUMBERS on the back of the card...Haha! =(

Dear Mom...

You make the sun shine on a cloudy day
When I'm sick you kiss the pain away
Your tender voice took away my fears
Your hand that wiped away my tears
The love you give so honest and pure
Keeping me forever safe and secure
You make flowers bloom in the spring
It was you who fixed my broken wing
Mom because of you I now know love
My guardian angel from above

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

I MISS YOU...I LOVE YOU!

Head Hunted...Again...But...

Here's the thing, I got a call this morning from a head hunter who is offering me a job which pays probably double my current salary. While tempting as it may sound, I'm having a tough time deciding on it. Why you ask?...well, sure the money is damn good but that also means I will have to be doing what I use to do a few years back which was something I was trying to get out of to begin with (mainly managing IT based projects).

Some of you might know that I have started out in a technical background and been managing IT based projects for the first 4 years of my working career. I got out of that and ventured into a more fast paced industry which is online marketing/advertising. For me, I like being in this current industry mainly because I get to meet people, and also learn a lot as my clients are from different industries. Going back to the IT industry means I will be only confined to the office most of the time and if not, clients will only be specific to the IT industry (boring!!!). To be honest, I am actually also contemplating to go into marketing all together. It would be nice to be working as the client for once right?

So...if you were me, what would you do? Go for something you don't really like but get paid really well, or do something you really like, while not getting paid as much?

Note: If you're my employer reading this....well, don't worry...it's not in the same industry so it's a totally different ball game all together. I guess this is something many of us will go through throughout our working career. Arrghh!

Will You Marry Me??...Please?

POST UPDATE (updated Jan 20):
Just a few days after this post, I forgotten I had another wedding dinner next week before my brother's, and gotten another 2 more invitations with one being in Singapore, bringing this year's total to 9!! Shit...ang pow also now have to give in SGD...FUCK I'm going to be SO BROKE! :(

---

Marriage - the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments. Lately there seems to be an influx of people I know getting married or engaged. Well, I think it’s quite normal for people my age, as I’m not getting any younger either. But the question is…WHY?

Why do people get married? Is it an elevated social status? Is it a MUST to get married in your lifetime? Is it due to peer pressure? Is it if you don’t, people look down on you? Well, whatever the reason maybe, some people do marry or say “Yes!” for the wrong reasons, which I think it’s really sad. These people normally end up in a divorce settlement rather than living happily ever after. Just yesterday, I called a friend out for dinner, to which she replied “Sorry I can’t…I’m attending a wedding dinner tonight” Hmm…a wedding dinner on a Wednesday night? How odd. So then I asked “Who gets married on a Wednesday night?” to which my friend replied “Mr. X loh” I was like “WTF?!!!...Mr. X is married?!! When did this happened?” You see, the reason I was so surprise was because I know this Mr. X person. Although I’m not close to him, he is always the “playful” type and never once did I portray him as marriage material at so young nor a potential father figure. The last I heard, he was getting “close” to another friend of mine while he is still dating his girlfriend…so you get the idea. Turns out, he got a “Buy one free one” promotion (his girlfriend got knocked up!). Sigh, and for that he has to marry the poor girl. Honestly, I wish him all the best, but you can’t help but think disaster in the future.

This year alone, I think I have about a minimum of 6 weddings to attend! Not that I don’t like weddings, but sometimes you just can’t help but wonder why the sudden rush. Some of the people getting married are even a few years younger than I am. My younger brother will be getting married in about 2 weeks from now, which I am extremely happy for him. My brother has been with my future sister-in-law for probably 8 years now, and it’s about time too. Which again makes me wonder…is it because someone cannot say “No” that they have to say “Yes”? Is it because you have already been with that someone for so long and it’s a “waste” to just say no? Don’t get me wrong here; I have nothing against my brother getting married. I’m just illustrating an honest opinion in general. It seems to be an “in thing” nowadays that people want to get married. The question is, are they really ready for it?

Another question I sometimes ask: is she marrying him just because of his money or good looks? Or does he marry her because she is pretty, easy to manipulate and is his ultimate trophy to show off? Does the law say you have to be married to be together forever? Well, of course if you’re planning a family, then that would be the legal way. Is it because parents or relatives keeps bugging you during reunion dinners and keeps asking that age old question “When are you getting married?” and you do so just to shut them up?

I came across this one person who actually says he needs to get married soon because his dad is ill and might not live for long and wants grand children before he dies. WHAT??!! Get married just because of that? Well, I understand it’s out of respect to ones parents and if the couple are ready to get married then yes go ahead, but seriously, if the couple just got together not too long ago, this would be one big no-no! But yet again, some people do it anyway! I just don’t understand. Does one live to fulfill their parents wishes at the expense of their own welfare?

Hey, it’s not that I’m feeling left out or anything like that. Trust me; I think marriage would not be in my list of priorities at the moment. But that doesn’t mean I do not want to get married either. Even having a relationship for that matter, it’s not necessary for now. I have been through enough shitty and heartbreaking relationships to even consider starting another one right now. It’s just so tiring sometimes to see all your hard work and sacrifices all go to waste. Of course someday I also don’t rule out the possibility of having one either…if the right one comes along and if chemistry happens…why not?

Well, this just something that’s brewing in my mind at the moment, with the sudden count increase of wedding “saman” I have this year. To all those who are engaged and getting married this year, I like to say CONGRATULATIONS and all the best to you.

Note: The author did not intend to question the integrity and legitimacy to those already married / engaged, and is merely speaking his mind. Anyone who felt offended and took this post personally is definitely and obviously in a problematic relationship.

Happy New Year??

It’s that time of the year again, where everyone does their new year’s resolution, party and sing “Auld Lang Syne”. So what’s your new year’s resolution for 2008? For me, I’m predicting a more “challenging” year for me, simply because I think I have to make a lot of sacrifices next year. Before you all go “WHOAH..sacrifice what?..life?!!”, no..it simply means that I have to start being more careful with my spendings. Well, this means going out a whole lot less, no more holidays, no more unnecessary partying, spending and pampering. Why? Well, because I have to start saving for my new condo. Just to give you a picture of why, just the other day, I went window shopping for electrical appliances…you know just the basic washing machine, fridge, microwave oven, etc…those alone cost around RM 10k. I still have to think about renovations, furniture, lightings and all other extra stuff which could all total to around RM50k or more.

I’m just bracing myself I guess and giving everyone the heads up incase you ask me why I’m becoming less and less anti-social and not happening anymore. So there…one of my new year’s resolutions I guess. How was 2007 overall for me? Well let’s just say, it turned out quite well in the end as I have some things fulfilled (although not all). So let’s hope everything turns out better in 2008.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Angel In Disguise

" Take a look at the ordinary,

Don't need to look for paradise,

You could be next to an angel in disguise "

- Corrinne May

Sometimes we don't need to try too hard to find what we want. Whatever you want might sometimes be just right in front of you, in the simplest form, without you knowing. =)

A "Secret" Revealed

I bet I caught your attention with the title eh? Well actually it's not THAT big of a secret, but I have been extremely low key about the situation. Some of you reading this will already know that coming Wednesday (19 September) will be my last day in my current company.

Why?
Well because I just felt I needed a change of environment, as I am starting to feel things are getting a bit mundane and I needed something new and different. Plus the place I'm going to are able to offer me what I'm asking for (for now at least...hehe). So why not right? It will be a very good learning curve for me as I will be taking on a dual role in that company, having more decision making responsibilities in terms of building the company, which is a good thing.

Where?
Haha! This is the million dollar question many people have been asking. Let's just say, it's a company that consists of many young talents. The people who I will soon call my colleagues are relatively young (even my boss is younger than I am I think)...but well, I guess they have more experience than I do in this industry. I won't reveal as yet, simply because it's against my working ethics to do so (the company is a direct competitor to my current company...so you know what I mean). But all will be reveal once I start there on 1st October...promise!

Risk or Opportunity?
Well, every decision has its pros and cons. The risk of course is this company is a smaller company than the one I'm leaving. Another risk is that the team are all very young, which makes you wonder about their experience, capabilities and commitments. On the plus side, I bring with me experience from a bigger company having dealt with bigger corporate clients and accounts. One of my deciding factor was also because I saw potential and room for growth as I have more decision making authority there. Also, having a young team means that people can see things from your perspective.

In the mean time..
Well between 20th September and 1st October, I will have a good 10 days or so off from work. I have nothing confirmed as yet, but I think I might take a trip to some place, either alone or with who ever is interested to join me. Will play by ear on that. So who knows, I might even come find you for lunch and catch up! hehe..

So there! It's not a "secret" anymore. To all my business partners, clients and colleagues who are reading this, don't have to worry, I will be still be contactable via my mobile and MSN. So in case there is chaos, you can still give me a call anytime (but will charge consultation fees already..hehe...kidding). Heck, I will still drop by for lunches or to have drinks with you guys after work la! So don't think I am ditching you guys ok? Until then..

Animosity

Does it hurt?
To know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks, to see my face everywhere
It was you who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
You knew exactly what you would do
And don't say you simply lost your way
They may believe you, but I never will

Never again
Never again will I hear you
Never again will I miss you
Never again will I fall to you
Never
Never again will I kiss you
Never again will I want to
Never again will I love you
Never!

Easy vs Difficult

Easy is to get a place is someone's address book
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt someone who loves us
Difficult is to heal the wound...

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...

Easy is to dream every night
Difficult is to fight for a dream...

Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...

Easy is to admire a full moon
Difficult to see the other side...

Easy is to stumble with a stone
Difficult is to get up...

Easy is to enjoy life every day
Difficult to give its real value...

Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...

Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...

Easy is to criticize others
Difficult is to improve oneself..

Easy is to make mistakes
Difficult is to learn from them...

Easy is to weep for a lost love
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it

Easy is to think about improving
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...

Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...

Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give

Easy to read this
Difficult to follow

Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings

Time For A Change

Time for a change! And it all begins here! Like the new layout? I try to keep it simple yet appealing to the eyes. No groggy graphics nor fancy animations, just back to basics. Isn't that what everything should be? S-I-M-P-L-E? Well, this new template is still giving me problems as I cannot incorporate certain scripts on the back end as compared to the previous one.

Yes, I AM A GEEK! I know how to program my webpages! So what scripts that I incorporate to the backend? Well, it's some spy software to track your reading patterns while secretly installing a tracker to track your keyboard movements so that I can see what you type! Scared? Haha...I'm only kidding. If I can do that, probably people from McAfee or Trend Micro would have hired me. No but seriously, this new Blogger template uses XML, and certain Javascripts cannot be incorporated. I need to code using XML instead! Ok enough with the geek talk as I can see some of you already going "WTF?!"

Ok after changing the template, it's time for a few changes in my life as well. Will update you all soon on what it is. Here's a hint, it involves eating habits and another "e" word. Yes, exercise! But that's all you are going to know for now...until then..

Wait For You

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I’m missing you and I’m wishing you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know; so now I’m all alone

Girl you could have stayed but you wouldn’t give me a chance
With you not around it’s a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they keep runnin’ down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you

Been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You gotta be feeling crazy
How can you walk away
(When) Everything stays the same
I just can’t do it baby

What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is and it just ain’t like that
Why can’t you look at me?
You’re still in love with me
Don’t leave me crying

Baby why can’t we just start all over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But you’re telling me it won’t be enough

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you

So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you’re keeping inside
That is not how you want it to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it’s the last thing I do

Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you
I’ll be waiting …

CTRL-Z

CTRL-Z, the ever popular and most important shortcut key you need to know if you're working with computers. That's the undo shortcut to those non-techies. Don't you ever wish that in life, you would have the option to do that? Imagine, taking back things that you don't mean to say or undoing things that you shouldn't have done or regretted doing. Life would be so much better isn't it? Sigh. Maybe if we live in the Matrix world, things "can" be undone, and even if they can't, they can be rebooted or reformatted and start fresh! How cool is that!? Oh well, we're not living in the Matrix (or at least we think so), so sometimes we just got to face reality and learn from our mistakes. Yea, it sucks, but that's life - it basically suck to begin with!

Happy Mother's Day

Today is worldwide Mother's Day. Well, although my mom isn't around, I would still like to wish her a Happy Mother's day and I'm sure she will hear me somehow. I found this rather cute banner on Yahoo! which says "I Love Mom". Thought I would just put it here for fun (try moving your cursor over the banner - the banner might take sometime to load though..so be patient).

Here is to the World's Greatest Mom! I LOVE YOU MOM!

My mom playing with snow on the Great Wall of China

Mixed Feelings

Well, this whole week seems pretty stressed up in terms of work, but yet at the same time, other good things came out of it. Yup, it was a week filled with mixed feelings...the feeling of agony, worry, frustration...but yet at the same time happy, relieved and loved. But that's life I guess..having its ups and downs...wonder how would it be for the next few days...I don't like this feeling..

P.S. Redang...HERE I COME!!! again! =)

Year of the 'Babi Panggang'

Yes, Chinese New Year is here again. It's the year of the 'Fire Pig' hence the title Babi Panggang (which means roasted pig by the way if you're illiterate). But somehow, I haven't been feeling really lucky this year yet. Having lost about RM200+ gambling in a span of 2 days, I decided I shall wait till later to try my luck again. Maybe bad luck from last year hasn't cleared yet.

So what's install for me in this pork year? Well I did a reading (courtesy of firepig.com) based on my chinese zodiac, and this is what they told me:

Sign: Sheep
Element: Earth
Chinese Name: YANG
Lunar Years of the Sign: 1943, 1955 , 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015

Description of the Sign Year
The gentle Sheep provides needed respite after the wild Horse year. This is the year to focus on those things that matter most in life, family, beauty, our wonderful planet. It's a great year to create a family or enrich the one you have. Go to an art festival. Enjoy the finer things in life---frequent that special restaurant and go to concerts and plays. Spend some time learning about ecology and participate in a local effort to improve the environment.

Description of the Sign Personality
Gentle and artistic, the Sheep is the feminine sign. Don't be mislead; the Sheep can hold its own. The gentle-hearted Muhammad Ali is arguably the greatest heavyweight boxer of all time. Still, they do tend to be shy and reserved. The Sheep lady truly enjoys being a lady. Not every Sheep will become a Michelangelo of course, but many will have artistic talent and most will make sure their homes are beautifully decorated. On the downside, the passive-aggressive Sheep can be an irritating whiner at times. They also need lots of stroking and understanding when they go through different moods. Nevertheless, they make good team players.

Description of the Sign-Element Personality
Being in touch with the good Earth grounds the already stable Sheep. Although like any Sheep you must deal with occasional temporary loss of self-confidence, the Earth in this year gives you a more solid base. Earth grounding makes family especially important for you, and a happy family life is essential to your well being.

Description of the Sign-Element Year
Stable, consistent and calm, the year of the Earth Sheep will not hold many surprises. It is a good year to go back to the basics, taking steps to establish solid ground for your family and your career.

Description of Home Life
The Yin (feminine) sign of the Sheep makes for a natural domestic. Expect to find all the softer side has to offer when it comes to decorations. Fresh smelling flowers, delicate curtains, and a warm fire burning in the fireplace are not uncommon in your household. You are a team player and thus very comfortable co-existing with family members.

Hours Ruled by the Sign: 1pm - 3pm

Hmm, another intersting thing that I did. Check out my sexual astrology for the year. Any 'pigs' or 'rabbits' reading this? *wink*. Well I just hope that this year will be a better year for me than the last. I'm not hoping for a miracle or anything, just hope the turmoil is over.

My 2006 at a Glance

(WARNING: This is a long post. It might bore some people to death. Reader discretion is adviced)

2006 has been a roller coaster ride for me. There were moments of happiness, and moments of sadness. In terms of relationships, well, I think most of you all know that I ended a 6 year long relationship with someone very dear in my life early this year. I can honestly say that is the single lowest point in my life. Never have I before felt such pain, emptiness and sadness. It was a huge blow to my ego, my self esteem, and not to mention my confidence. But that is life I guess. All good things will eventually come to an end (unwillingly), and you just have to embrace it. No use crying over spilt milk. What is done is already done. I can only prepare myself for the future, and move on with my life. It has been really hard, but its not end of the world as they say.

I have made a lot of new friends this year, quite a lot actually. I even managed to meet up with so many friends who I have not seen in years. It’s been really great to see those people and catching up again. I’ve started becoming more open to possibilities. It’s moments like these that make you “wake up” and analyze your life. Asking myself where I see myself in say, 3 years time. For me, it could have been a blessing in disguise for whatever had happened in my past relationship. Turning point? Maybe, I don’t know. People need to analyze themselves and set new goals every now and then. I guess it gave me a lot of time to rethink of what to do next. Now, I think I have a clearer picture of what I’m going to do, and how to achieve it. I basically have everything figured out (at least I think so), being bolder in making certain decisions, more risk oriented. You could also say I have matured in thinking, and being to handle certain situations better.

Recently, I took my very first trip to Melbourne alone! I’m so proud of myself. Why? Because it was initially setup to go during June, however, due to work commitments then, I couldn’t do so, and even had to cancel the pre-book plane tickets. But after months of hard work, late nights and deadlines, I decided to reward myself with this trip. Yeah, some of you might think it might have cost me a kidney or something to go there, and you’re right, it did. But you know what? It was worth every single cent. “Screw the money, you only live once! Go and enjoy, you deserve it”. I keep telling myself; and really I did. It was really a successful trip, being able to catch up with so many long lost friends who I have not met in ages. I will definitely be back there again. The highlight of the whole trip was definitely the U2 concert (I still make people jealous with this btw…hehe), and the drive along Great Ocean Road, in Southeast Australia, definitely memories that will last a lifetime.

So what am I looking forward to in 2007? Well, lets see, in terms of career, I have a few possibilities. I don’t want to jinx it by letting the world know about something unconfirmed, but there is definitely something planned for the coming year. My condo will be ready end of 2007 too. Will I move in? Well, I will only decide when the time comes…can’t wait to decorate it though. I’ve been planning to take up Japanese for a very long time, but just didn’t find the time to do it. I even bought myself phrase books to learn. Next year, I think I’m definitely going to enroll for a Japanese class (fingers crossed…). I’m also interested in taking up rock climbing. Anyone interested to join me? For my planned vacations? I think Bangkok and Boracay or Cebu is definitely somewhere on my 2007 calendar. A more ambitious destination...Japan perhaps? I must first see if I have another body part which I can sell. Boy I can’t wait! 2007…Bring it on!

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory of the World's Greatest Mom

MARY IMELDA CHAY WAI YIN

(19.09.1953 - 20.12.2003)

You will always be remembered and have a place in my heart forever. I Love You.

Christmas is Coming...

...and poor old Saint Nick is stuck here blogging to you about this..hehe. Well, it's that time of the year again, where everyone goes around wishing everyone, singing carols, exchanging gifts, having parties...ahhh..that's Christmas. So what do I want for Christmas this year? Well, to be honest, I don't want anything! Hard to believe? Well..maybe its because the things that I really want every year, no one seem to be able to afford it, let alone buy it for me. So I figured, if I lowered my expectations, I won't be so dissapointed. Make sense right? So from now on, every Christmas, I'm not expecting anything. Anything that you give me would be just an added bonus to me. Of course you're still most welcome to give me presents you moron!! I maybe humble but I'm not stupid.

So what's going on this Christmas for me? Hmm..I think it's just gonna be the usual family stuff, dinner, get together and exchanging presents. Every year (well almost..) me, my brother and my sis will gather old clothings and wrap it up and put it in several sacks. On midnight Christmas day, after our present opening session, we will then head of to orphanges in the wee hours of the morning throwing the sack of clothings into their lawn. There will be just a card saying something like "Merry Christmas. Enjoy the clothings. Love Santa" attached to the sack. We just choose to remain anonymous. Sounds fun huh? I hope this year we're going to do it since I have a lot of old clothes that I want to give away.

Oh on another note, we got a brand new Christmas tree! Yep it now stands at 7 feet!!

Cool eh? Anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone. Hope everyone has been nice and not naughty this year, otherwise Saint Nick will strike you off his Christmas list..hehe

A Random Quote

Random quote of the day: 我信任你,而这也是我爱你的原因...