POST UPDATE (updated Jan 20):
Just a few days after this post, I forgotten I had another wedding dinner next week before my brother's, and gotten another 2 more invitations with one being in Singapore, bringing this year's total to 9!! Shit...ang pow also now have to give in SGD...FUCK I'm going to be SO BROKE! :(
Marriage - the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments. Lately there seems to be an influx of people I know getting married or engaged. Well, I think it’s quite normal for people my age, as I’m not getting any younger either. But the question is…WHY?
Why do people get married? Is it an elevated social status? Is it a MUST to get married in your lifetime? Is it due to peer pressure? Is it if you don’t, people look down on you? Well, whatever the reason maybe, some people do marry or say “Yes!” for the wrong reasons, which I think it’s really sad. These people normally end up in a divorce settlement rather than living happily ever after. Just yesterday, I called a friend out for dinner, to which she replied “Sorry I can’t…I’m attending a wedding dinner tonight” Hmm…a wedding dinner on a Wednesday night? How odd. So then I asked “Who gets married on a Wednesday night?” to which my friend replied “Mr. X loh” I was like “WTF?!!!...Mr. X is married?!! When did this happened?” You see, the reason I was so surprise was because I know this Mr. X person. Although I’m not close to him, he is always the “playful” type and never once did I portray him as marriage material at so young nor a potential father figure. The last I heard, he was getting “close” to another friend of mine while he is still dating his girlfriend…so you get the idea. Turns out, he got a “Buy one free one” promotion (his girlfriend got knocked up!). Sigh, and for that he has to marry the poor girl. Honestly, I wish him all the best, but you can’t help but think disaster in the future.
This year alone, I think I have about a minimum of 6 weddings to attend! Not that I don’t like weddings, but sometimes you just can’t help but wonder why the sudden rush. Some of the people getting married are even a few years younger than I am. My younger brother will be getting married in about 2 weeks from now, which I am extremely happy for him. My brother has been with my future sister-in-law for probably 8 years now, and it’s about time too. Which again makes me wonder…is it because someone cannot say “No” that they have to say “Yes”? Is it because you have already been with that someone for so long and it’s a “waste” to just say no? Don’t get me wrong here; I have nothing against my brother getting married. I’m just illustrating an honest opinion in general. It seems to be an “in thing” nowadays that people want to get married. The question is, are they really ready for it?
Another question I sometimes ask: is she marrying him just because of his money or good looks? Or does he marry her because she is pretty, easy to manipulate and is his ultimate trophy to show off? Does the law say you have to be married to be together forever? Well, of course if you’re planning a family, then that would be the legal way. Is it because parents or relatives keeps bugging you during reunion dinners and keeps asking that age old question “When are you getting married?” and you do so just to shut them up?
I came across this one person who actually says he needs to get married soon because his dad is ill and might not live for long and wants grand children before he dies. WHAT??!! Get married just because of that? Well, I understand it’s out of respect to ones parents and if the couple are ready to get married then yes go ahead, but seriously, if the couple just got together not too long ago, this would be one big no-no! But yet again, some people do it anyway! I just don’t understand. Does one live to fulfill their parents wishes at the expense of their own welfare?
Hey, it’s not that I’m feeling left out or anything like that. Trust me; I think marriage would not be in my list of priorities at the moment. But that doesn’t mean I do not want to get married either. Even having a relationship for that matter, it’s not necessary for now. I have been through enough shitty and heartbreaking relationships to even consider starting another one right now. It’s just so tiring sometimes to see all your hard work and sacrifices all go to waste. Of course someday I also don’t rule out the possibility of having one either…if the right one comes along and if chemistry happens…why not?
Well, this just something that’s brewing in my mind at the moment, with the sudden count increase of wedding “saman” I have this year. To all those who are engaged and getting married this year, I like to say CONGRATULATIONS and all the best to you.
Note: The author did not intend to question the integrity and legitimacy to those already married / engaged, and is merely speaking his mind. Anyone who felt offended and took this post personally is definitely and obviously in a problematic relationship.
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